Author, Coach, Educator, & Realtor

Archive for the ‘Holiday’ Category

‘Tis The Season To Be Jolly (Joyful, Optimistic, Loving, Laughing, for Yourself)

Santa only chose the Jolly Reindeer to dance with - which ones are they ?

 If you ask enough people this time of year 2 out of 3 will answer the question, “How’s it going?” with, “I have so much to do.”

It’s pretty evident to most women in particular what they are talking about – preparations.

No matter what your family does or doesn’t do to celebrate the season there is some date that you are looking at right now that is a deadline for all your preparations. You have things you want to accomplish before that date to help make it an experience for all to enjoy. And – you may even feel it is your responsibility to ensure everyone’s good time.

Tough to be Jolly with so little time and so much to do.

But without Jolly the main person you are responsible for will probably miss out on the good time — YOU.

Take a deep breath (I learned this from Yoga for Dummies). Look at the face of a child on the street or in your family and see their innate joy. Now practice Joyful. Jump up and down. Do the jitterbug. Dance to “twist and shout”. Say a prayer of thanks. Sing while you bake. Make a mess while cooking with the kids or your friend. Talk on the phone to someone you haven’t seen while you’re wrapping presents. Meet someone for lunch while you’re out shopping. (You get the picture.)

Be Optimistic. It truly is the thought that counts. The people who love and appreciate you will love whatever preparations you have made (no matter what you think you haven’t gotten to). Planning can be endless but deadlines aren’t. What gets done gets done and what doesn’t goes on for the next planning. This is great because there can always be new things to look forward to in life. Give yourself a deadline to stop and appreciate all you have done and all that you have to look forward to. Know that tomorrow will always bring new experiences and new goals to look forward to as well.

Be Loving to those around you, the ones you know and the ones you don’t. Hold hands with a family member or partner while you shop. When you see someone struggling lend a hand. When you perceive tension from someone else, smile in their direction. When you see sorrow realize we all have burdens and be grateful for the ones you have as opposed to what others might be suffering through. Do what you can for others and know it is appreciated.

Laugh a lot! Find the humor in the situation. Help others to find humor and use it to release tension and stress. Make playing games part of your planning. Bring people together in fun and you will have succeeded in bringing  them joy, providing lasting memories, and creating  great relationships for those around you.

Never forget Yourself. In making all your preparations be kind and loving to yourself. You are an amazing person who needs to be recognized as your own best friend. A really smart person once told me when you have a decision to make ask yourself what advise you would give to your best friend in the same situation. Then take that advise and use it. Appreciate yourself and listen to what your mind and heart tell you that you need. Then follow through.

Now that you have the tools to be Jolly, start right away and have a joyous, optimistic, lovinglaughing holiday for yourself.

Ho Ho Ho Happy Holidays, Kate

Mother’s and Mentor’s Day

I am so grateful to have a dear friend who among other gifts and talents does relationship coaching/consulting. ( Understanding relationships is vital to both your professional and personal growth. )

Years ago I heard her give advice to a group of women as Mother’s Day approached.

Her message was heartfelt and impactful. Mother’s Day is a reminder to thank not only your Mother but your Mentors as well. The people in your life who have served as surrogate “mothers” throughout your life.

Writing a note to someone ( female or male ) who may or may not know how important they are to you, or how they have helped you along the way, is a great way to say thank you.


Some things you may want to say:

Thank You for being in my life.

Thank you for your guidance, your caring and your support.

 Thank you for the unconditional love you have given me. ( Sounds like Mom doesn’t it ? )

Thank you for your shoulder to lean on, your words that soothe, your insights and your unwavering belief in me.

Thank you for your example of strength and courage, your ability to see the true me and your trust in my success at whatever I choose to do.

I’d like to thank you today as I do every day when I remember the things I am grateful for in my life.

Through your example I have learned to “mother” and mentor those who I have had the privilege to know and love.

Every word I speak, sentence I write and action I take has been positively influenced by knowing you.


There is no better way to live life than to be an inspiration and advocate for others.

Don’t wait — write your notes today. You will be giving the gifts of recognition, praise and gratitude.


Relationship Coaching/Consulting:

Cottor Consulting Ltd., Sharon Cottor —


The Wearing of the Green

I know why every year I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. It has to do with a mother whose maiden name was O’Connor and was born on the Emerald Island.

I started to wonder why others who may not have the same heritage are always happy to enter into the celebration. Then I came up with my own theory.

In life as in business it takes all different types of personalities, strengths and skill sets to get the best possible results on any task. We more often than not work with others and discuss our differences; different styles, different opinions, different methods. In doing so we have an opportunity to learn and grow from those around us. We can also create the best possible teams getting the best possible results (as illustrated in “Our Iceberg Is Melting” by John Kotter — a good read).

However commonality makes us feel like we belong. When we have something in common with others we create a bond. We feel liked, welcome and safe (a shared vision or goal is the result of working as a diverse team and creating common goals).

Ultimately we need both differsity and commonality to move forward for the desired outcome.

I choose to think of St. Patrick’s day as a display of both. For one day we can all be different and the same. We can wear green and shamrocks, drink green beer, look for leprechauns with pots of gold and have fun regardless of differences and nationalities.  We all have a mutual goal —- to have fun and be with others who want to have fun.

If you have the opportunity to create fun at work even better — we could all use laughter and humor to keep things in perspective. It’s also a great day to show your appreciation for a job well done.

So pass out the shamrocks, dust off the Irish jokes, wear green and tell everyone you meet “May the luck of the Irish be with you!” today and always.

Dear Santa,

Santa I am not your typical admirer.  I have spent decades believing in your wisdom and magic.

In my first decade I knew you as the giver of my deepest desires.  I asked for the toys that were most popular and the fashions to help me look in style.

You were always so generous.  If occasionally I did not receive my specific request I always knew you had simply run out of time or materials and I would be first on your list for next year.

I was normally a good child in hopes you were watching (well, truthfully you and God).  I knew my good behavior would be rewarded somehow, whether in this world or the next.

In the next few decades I believed you worked through others.  I helped you fill the stockings, go shopping, wrap the presents and spread good cheer through the holiday season.

I was your personal elf that walked among the children and adults to spread your message of giving and your joy of service.

There was no need for you to use your resources on my behalf because I was already being rewarded abundantly by those around me.

But I still knew you were watching and that you would continue to be proud of my good behavior.

These last decades I have come to appreciate your gifts with even greater awe.

You give all children hope.  You offer redemption and forgiveness on a regular basis.  You never give up when the going gets rough.

You start over every year with a clean slate and build up to the most wonderful presents imaginable.  You sprinkle the world with love, harmony and peace.

You never tire of being the twinkle in a child’s eye or the leader of an unseemly band of followers.

You never get stressed or give up and always make the lives of those you meet better for having known you.

You are unselfish, unwavering and some might say unbelievable!

Santa this year I am writing to tell you I still believe.  I believe in your goodness, your power, your gifts and your example to all of us.

I am once again writing to you for continued love, joy, peace and prosperity for each of us as my present from you.

I have been on my best behavior (mostly).


Kate Rakoci

Your biggest fan and believer.

P.S.  Don’t forget that new project too!  And in case you need advise from me, all my friends, family, associates and neighbors have been very good as well.

Dear Reader,

If you want to save on postage you can add your letter to Santa in the “comments” section of .  I assure you it will go express delivery!